


Closeted

by pinkcello15 (orphan_account)



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: M/M, Not Beta Read, i suck at this :D
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28667049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/pinkcello15
Summary: He’s over it. Over Alex’s real laugh. Over the way he makes Henry love him, despite all odds, despite the way he fake laughs at Henry’s pain.Because deep down he knows Alex loves him too. They’d never admit it to each other. Couldn't. Just can’t. Ever.But Henry also knows they both know.So, like, what can he do? They’re terrible for each other.But they love each other.
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 44





	Closeted

Henry is not a pushover. 

Except for the fact that he is, completely and wholly. He was a pushover when the assholes in school threw snide remarks at him through the halls, he was a pushover when his brother pounded into his head the importance of following the path their family had followed for generations, as he liked to exaggerate it. And he was especially a pushover for Alex Claremont-Diaz, if their tongues down each other's throats at present was any indication. 

So, yeah. Maybe Henry was a pushover, but in this moment, shoved in a janitor's closet with Alex’s lips on his neck, he didn't particularly care. 

Henry and Alex being together in itself had to be one of the universe's greatest mysteries. Alex on the football team, with his gross friends, and his gross girlfriend. 

(To be fair, Nora was actually a very sweet girl. He had no idea why she could stand to be with someone of such an asshole status considering how nice and booksmart she was, but Henry really shouldn't be one to talk. Because he was also with said asshole. Just in secret, which was probably much worse.

Yes, definitely worse.) 

Alex was a walking cliche, all perfectly bronzed skin and pretty eyes, popular enough the school practically fell to their feet in his presence, but most of all, completely and utterly straight. 

At least, that’s what Henry had thought. You can imagine his surprise when the boy he’d stupidly had a crush on since freshman year pulled him into the janitors closet and began frantically making out with him. 

From then on, it became a game of sorts between the two. Them, a janitor's closet, and Alex’s voice in the back of his head reminding him no one could know. 

(They soon accepted that janitor's closets did not make for good hidden relationship make out sessions, eventually evolving to each other's bedrooms for a matter of convenience and safety.)

Henry didn't want Alex like this, having to be hidden like some dirty secret. He especially didn't like Alex when he played the role of the bully towards Henry to get his friends off their tails. But, Henry also wanted Alex, and he didn't think he should be faulted for feeling that way. As he mentioned before, the man was practically a walking greek god. 

So, he was willing to take whatever Alex would give him, and today it seemed to be another infamous janitor closet makeout. 

The room was dark, and Alex jerked Henry in by his hips to bring them closer, becoming aware of the little space surrounding them. 

The thing was, Henry should care. Would care, if it weren't for the fact that Alex was a really good kisser, with his fingers on Henry’s waist and in his hair, and the way he’d gently bite his lip. 

They’re separated by the ringing of the class bell, their lips still chasing each other before they realize, removing their hands from each other's bodies and straightening up. Normally they prepare better than this, don’t time it during the passing period, but he doesn't know why he somehow still didn't expect Alex’s abrupt ending to their endeavor. 

“Shit.” Alex mumbled, ear to the door trying to hear who was behind it. “Um. Okay. I’m gonna go out, and then you’re going to wait until the next bell to leave so no one sees us walk out together.”

“You want me to be late to class so no one sees? How exactly does that benefit me?”

“Jesus, Henry, you’ll be like, two minutes late max, and I’ve told you why no one can know right now.”

“Bad for your reputation--”

“Stop-- stop saying it like that okay. I’m not the bad guy here.” Alex huffs. “Fine, you know what, fuck it. Stay in here and wait or don’t, I don’t give a shit.” He opened the door and quickly shut it behind him, darkness left in his place. 

Henry sighes, brings his fingers to his lips. Waits until the bell rings three minutes later to make his descent to the class he was now going to be late to. It was fine.

(It wasn’t fine, and they both knew it. Henry wanted more than Alex would ever be able to give. But Henry also wanted Alex, so he took whatever the boy offered, no matter how much more he needed. It was fine.)

…

Henry is just closing his comically large AP Chem textbook when he hears four gentle taps on his window. It’s their stupid code, meaning Alex must be outside his window. Henry hates the way his stomach jumps at the idea of seeing him. 

He walks over to his window, sees Alex balancing on the large branch connected to the even larger tree that gives access to Henry’s second floor room. He looks impatient, and Henry smirks. 

“What are you doing here?” Henry asks as he opens the window and helps Alex inside. 

“It’s Tuesday,” Alex says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world as he strips off his shirt and unbuckles his belt. “We always fuck on Tuesdays. And I need this after the day I’ve had.” 

Henry stands there, mouth probably gaping more than he’d like to admit. Frozen in shock for a moment, he’s startled by Alex’s lips furiously meeting his lips, and his body takes over as he strips his own shirt off while Alex parts his lips and slips his tongue in Henry’s mouth. 

They come together like they always do. It’s them, and it’s everything Henry needs to feel grounded. It looks like it was all Alex needed too, because once they’re done, Alex curls against Henry’s side and buries his head into his chest, falling asleep instantly like he always does after sex. Because if there was one thing about Alex that never changed, it was the fact that the boy could never seem to keep his eyes open after coming. 

These were the pockets of time Henry craved most. The ones where he could pretend they were two normal people, allowed to love each other. 

Henry takes a minute to let Alex’s curls tickle his neck and inhale the smell of him and his warm body pressed against Henry’s chest. He pulls his laptop off his bedside table and turns on a Netflix show, drawing absent minded shapes over Alex’s arm and torso as he watches. 

Sometimes he’ll fall asleep with Alex, but more often than not he turns on his laptop, not wanting to sleep but not wanting to let Alex leave his grip yet. Just wanting to be. 

…

The next day effectively kills any form of radical acceptance Henry had so carefully collected over the last few months. 

…

Henry’s shoving his books into his locker, gets to his AP Chem book, thinks about Alex, last night. Wishes he could think about anything else. 

That is until hands collide with his shoulder blades, ramming him into a row of metal lockers that make a much too prominent sound, already drawing stares. 

He sees one of Alex’s asshole friends; Liam. A couple other people on the football team. 

It’s not completely unusual, them deciding to release their endless forms of insecurities on Henry through God awful slurs. 

It’s not unusual, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. 

But this time. This time he sees Alex. 

Alex, standing behind Liam as he bites his thumb nail. His nervous tick. Henry hates that he knows that hitting his nails is Alex’s nervous tick. Hates that he knows a lot of things about Alex; things that make him feel things, things he could never admit to feeling. 

But, like, the way he feels for Alex’s secret tendencies he only gets to the dark have no place here, because. Well, because Alex is standing behind Liam with his thumb nail in his mouth letting Liam take his insecurities out on Henry. 

Henry gets pushed a bit, one of them throws one of Henry’s textbooks to the floor. It’s whatever. Henry doesn’t really care which one of the assholes did it, just that Alex is standing there, watching. 

They leave eventually. 

Alex does too. Walks away with a fake laugh on his lips. 

(Henry knows it’s a fake laugh, because, well. Henry knows Alex. He wishes he didn’t. 

God does he wish that. 

Wishes he didn’t know what Alex’s takeout order for their favorite Chinese place is. Wishes he didn’t know Alex loves that Henry laughs when he comes. Wishes he didn’t know how soft Alex’s hair is, or how he feels pressed against his chest. 

But Henry does know him. So, he knows the laugh is fake.)

He thinks about how it doesn’t really matter though, whether the laugh is fake or not. 

Whatever. Fuck Alex. He doesn’t need him, or his soft smile, or the way he pulls Henry’s hair just right when they makeout. He doesn’t need that.  
…  
Alex texts him later that night, because Henry knows Alex knows that Alex fucked up. 

Alex 3:04 PM: im sorry alright  
Alex 3:05 PM: that was a fucking doucey thing and i really am sorry okay?

Alex 3:28 PM: i get you’re mad at me

Alex 3:36 PM: can i just come over and make it up to u, please hen. 

Alex 10:09 PM: so youre just never gonna text me back again then huh

Alex 10:52 PM: cool. 

Henry would feel bad. Swears he would; knows he would. Except every text Alex sends he sees that fake laugh. 

Fuck that fake laugh. Fuck Alex. Henry doesn’t need him. 

He’s over it. Over Alex’s real laugh. Over the way he makes Henry love him, despite all odds, despite the way he fake laughs at Henry’s pain. 

Because deep down he knows Alex loves him too. They’d never admit it to each other. Couldn't. Just can’t. Ever. 

But Henry also knows they both know.

So, like, what can he do? They’re terrible for each other. 

But they love each other. 

Fuck, does Henry love that asshole.


End file.
